Things Will Get Better, You Are Never Alone

Man sitting in barber chair

Paul O'Neill

It was the day England played Croatia in the World Cup. I went to the pub with him and his friends. My brother was in the best form I have seen him in a long time. Some things hadn’t worked out for him recently, so I was glad to see him in a good mood, laughing, telling jokes, having some beer with his friends. At half-time, I left to go home. Later that evening, I got the call about the most devastating news in my life.

After the game, they went back to his friend’s house. Normally, they’d order a Chinese and walk the dog together after the pub, but that day he didn’t want to go. When his friend arrived back, he couldn’t find him anywhere. He knew something was not okay. He went around each room and then out to the back garden. That’s where he found him. Maybe it was a spontaneous decision, a moment of utter despair.

I often wonder what if he could’ve opened up and talked to us instead. Where would he be today? I’m sure everything would be okay by now. He would probably have a wife and children. We will never know.

This is the reason why Movember is so important to me. I felt helpless at the time, so Movember was my way of doing something for him. Before losing him, I never knew that there could be such a drive for individuals to get involved. I decided to put up a post every day during Movember. I set my target of €1,000 but after six hours, it was exceeded, by the end, I raised over €16.50k. This money will now go to echo a simple message: Things will get better, and you are never alone!

If you or someone you know is in crisis, or needs emotional support we urge you to head to https://movember.com/getsupport for support options. To speak with someone immediately, contact your local 24-hour support service.

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Movember supports all individuals within the LGBTQIA+ community, including those who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, and asexual. Health disparities exist, with LGBTQIA+ individuals experiencing higher rates of mental health issues and discrimination, often exacerbated by stigma in healthcare. We advocate for the right to self-identify, protection from discrimination, inclusive education, and rights-affirming healthcare, ensuring everyone can lead a healthy, dignified life.

Movember acknowledge the many and varied experiences of people navigating their health and wellbeing, those who support them and those who came before us whose stories, struggles and strength have shaped what we know. We recognise those who have generously shared their knowledge and wisdom with us and honour those we have lost too soon. Their knowledge, insight and expertise are essential to improving the design, delivery and evaluation of the work that we do and their experiences remind us why this work matters.

Movember Foundation is a registered 501(c)3 non-profit organization.