Mo Bro Kyle Moffatt On Facing Anxiety

I had never heard the words “mental illness” before.

It was 2014, and a friend had just sat me down at the Rock Creek in East Regina. I had crashed. My previous girlfriend had just informed me that she didn’t think I was stable enough to care for our 4-year-old daughter. I was failing my university classes. I was alone.

Yet a year before, I felt like the king of the world. How had this happened?

My friend introduced me to the concepts of depression, anxiety, mood swings, and I started to realize the person “living” in my body was not really me. After a very very difficult year of re-learning how to think, I found myself back with my girlfriend (now wife), our daughter, and for the first time in my life an understanding of the fake mask I had worn for so many years.

During this same period my Dad was experiencing his own crash, but so much harder. A university kid may not have too much to come back from; but, to a 47-year-old former CEO who had lost his job, his wife, communication with family, and was struggling with undiagnosed bipolar disorder and alcohol dependency, that comeback can feel hopeless.

Despite what felt like a million hours talking, working, and trying to push forward, in the summer of 2015, he took his own life.

I miss him so much.

Honestly, there are some days where I lose myself worrying about what I said or what I did or the possibility that I am letting my family down. But by understanding that those thoughts aren’t real, and employing the system of skills learned to deal with the anxiety, I can keep living this normal, awesome, exciting, stressful, meaningful, life with ADHD and mental challenges – one day at a time.

If you or someone you know is in crisis, or needs emotional support we urge you to head to movember.com/getsupport for crisis support options. To speak with someone immediately, contact your local 24-hour support service.